Carry on Columbus

History is only slightly rewritten: instead of experienced sailors, there are only convicts whose last and only meeting with H2O was a prison diet of bread and water. And Columbus's map is a 1500 year old heirloom from the estate of Moishe the Navigator, a heretofore unknown sailor who made the first trip around the world in 207 BC. The only problem with this map is that it's in Hebrew.